“Your seeds are going to grow. Just wait and see.” The promise of a 6 year old.

I planted seeds in little black pots 15 days ago.10365334_10152176209594141_4294130437035387578_o

Even while I planted them I could feel doubt leaking through my pores dampening my gloves from the inside.  I kept sighing heavily and under my weighted breath, I mumble to myself “Damn! It takes so much patience handling these delicate tiny seeds!”

1512123_10152176209374141_1716312486319668743_oThe gruff work of dragging out the wheelbarrow from our garden shed, throwing 25 pound bags of potting mix and a shovel into the wheelbarrow warms my muscles. I enjoy feeling blood surge through my body as I lift, swing, bend and stretch while mixing soil in the belly of wheelbarrow with my hands. Shaking soil out of large bags of potting mix doesn’t take muscle dexterity or attention to detail. Just a little heave hoh! I suck in my stomach muscles, lift the bag. I bend and stretch my lower back, spread wide my shoulders and shake the soil free into a large vessel. I love the feeling of digging my whole hands, up to my forearms and wiggling my fingers into soft, rich, lightly damp earth with no gloves on.

10379799_10152176209469141_636292424527217925_oThe contrast, though, is tearing open a little paper bag the size of my palm and reaching in to take out tiny seeds between my finger tips. I fumble and grope and the pit of my stomach grips with frustration.  Detail and delicacy counting minute seeds overwhelm me. Instantly frustration blooms into anger.  Doubt floods my nervous system like dropping a dam in a gushing river.

I drop the little packet of seeds into the wheelbarrow and step away, shaking and sweating.

I squat down on the lower step of the deck and put my head in my hands. I am so familiar with this sensation of frustration that takes over me.  Flashes of kindergarten handwriting lessons and scolding to sit still and be quiet from my teachers. I blunder to myself,

“How can I do this differently this time? How can I let doubt run through me instead of drive me?”

I actually hear myself answer.

“Open both valves and let the doubt run through you. Open and take it in. Then open and let it run out of you. Feel it run like a current and flow.”

Wow! I feel a rush.  Caffeine and white rapids run through me.  Fear and thrill are so close together.

Heat and moisture exude from my fingertips and ignite life force held in this tiny seed.  Hope, faith, and determination are tied together inside this eensy weensy seed.  I feel a deep quiver near the base of my spine as my skin touches the seed’s skin. I breathe. I take another big inhale and slow down my exhale.  My heart bangs in my chest and instead of anger I just breathe in the sensation.  Is this excitement?  Is this anticipation?  Is this hope?  I keep a little tiny seed pinched between my fingertips and sit at the edge of the deck.

1493544_10152176209514141_699298959580009129_oI drop the seed in the palm of my left hand.  With my hand turned open to the sun, I look at this sweet tiny fleck of cosmos flower seed cradled in my hot pink sweaty palm.  Blood is rushing through my hands from lifting, shaking, stirring gardening soil mix.  This little seed looks like it is sleeping, dreaming, totally blissed out. In this oval shaped speck holds a flower from sprout to blossom.  It carries an entire lifespan of beauty and service.  I hold in the palm of my hand a being that brings pleasure to insects, children, and my beloved who appreciates flowers in vases.

Heat and moisture exude from my fingertips and ignite the life force in this tiny seed.

“Hey, you wanna see my sunflower?”

My Master Gardener buddy asks me.  He proudly shows me his sunflower sprouting out of his handmade flower pot he created from scrap auto parts from his Dad.10010201_10152171238179141_8834986864897916197_o

“Wow, that’s awesome! My seeds haven’t sprouted yet.”

I say.

“Your seeds are going to grow. Just wait and see.”

He promises.

17 days later.

10295184_10152176268374141_7240098216485326980_oJust like my buddy knew, seeds sprout. That’s just what they do.

Energy flows.

“Where attention goes, spirit flows.”

That’s just what life does.

 

 

Carola Marashi M.A. Heart Whisperer

Carola Marashi M.A. Intuition CounselorAbout Me-Carola Marashi M.A., Published Author and Writing Coach.

I have a Master’s Degree in Transpersonal Psychology and author of 2 books-Sensual Eating, 1992; and Sacred Dance and 22 Card divination deck of my original art, 2010 2nd Edition.

As a writing coach, I listen with soft ears- to breath, pauses, rhythm of speech and the words chosen. Our ears go straight to our heart. My purpose is to help others follow their heart, trust their intuition and walk their path.

Sessions can be on the phone or skype. Currently I live in Beaverton Oregon west of Portland with my beloved and 2 cats.

Donate securely using Paypal – no membership required.

You can pay through pay pal.

512-925-0625

 

Donate securely using Paypal - no membership required

You can pay through pay pal.

512-925-0625

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Shedding Skin Writing Practice: I want to be the girl who

I want to be the girl who

Carola Marashi M.A.  Author, Intuitive Counselor, Artist
Carola Marashi M.A. Author, Intuitive Counselor, Artist

is invited to all the cool parties, overnights and games.  

I want to be the girl who is referred to as “my best friend” or “the one I trust.”

I want to be the girl who has as many girlfriends as boyfriends.

I want to be the girl that likes popular and outcast equally and has no clue that she is popular.

I want to be the girl who advocates for the bullied-and just by showing up-makes the bully cower and shrink from the scene.

I want to be the girl wo doesn’t have to fight to win, who doesn’t have to hurt to be felt or yell to be heard.

I want to be the girl who is wild yet sensitive. Shy yet outgoing.

I want to be the girl who is smart and intelligent yet artistic, musical athletic-not pinned to any tag. Just engaged and friendly.

Yes. Most of all I want to be the girl who is approachable-not intimidating. That hurts to think that there are folks who are intimidated by me. Who feel shut down and uninvited. I love to be inclusive and I don’t want bullies ruining the party by scapegoating.

I want to be the girl who grows up integrating the slut and prude, the boy-crazy and girl-crazy, the athlete, nerd, and playfull.

I want to be the girl who grows up living out of her joy and abundance, not lives out of her wounds and deprivation.  

I want to be the girl who groups up with an open heart that is generous to all people-not guarded and withdrawn.

I want to be the girl who has deep, honest, real genuine friendships, not shallow, narrow, generic friends.

I want to be the girl who knows who she is and not swayed  to drop her values because of peer-pressure or survival.

Yes. I want to be the girl who Grows Up and Out, Down and In.

I want to be the girl who speaks her mind and doesn’t have to offend or hurt anyone to show up authentic.

I want to be the girl who realizes that there are those who follow her-So slow down, and that she follows others-So keep up.

I want to be the girl who is Awake. Alert. Aware-engaged fully with whatever she is doing and whoever she is with.

I want to be the girl who is Fully Present; Not Spaced Out.

I want to be the girl who is known for what she contributes, not for what she takes.

I want to be the girl who is known for her congruence-coherence-cooperation.

That she walks her talk. Lives her truth. and doesn’t compromise her values.

Intuition Counseling helps you listen and respond to your own inner guidance.

512-925-0625  (Customary love offering $1 per minute.)

It takes Courage to Love. Your answers are inside you. 

About Me-Carola Marashi M.A.

I live simply in Southern Oregon on a permaculture sanctuary owned and designed by my Heart Circle Mate. Surrounding me are gardens, animals, wild nature, and a wild dance community with open hearts.

Believe In The Power Of Love.

Love keeps Flowing, Changing, and Serving.

Love doesn’t Stop, Quit or Break.

Carola Marashi M.A. has a Master’s Degree in Transpersonal Psychology and is an Ordained Minister. Her 30 years of Professional Practice serve Intuition and Compassion. Author of 2 Published Books, Sensual Eating, and Sacred Dance Tarot, emphasizing communion with Body, Mind and Soul. She offers Intuitive Counseling, Couples Counseling and Officiates Weddings. Currently she lives simply and close to the earth in Talent Oregon on a permaculture sanctuary. 

Donate securely using Paypal - no membership required

You can pay for your Intuitive Counseling through Pay Pal.