At first, I can barely gasp for air. I die. The 'old' life is squeezed out of me. The humble, vulnerable, naked human surrenders. I go from solitude to intimacy. Inside the hug- My heart beats with their heart. And then I have to let go. Present tense pushes out past tense. The smush of body weight against the floor feels like a full body hug.
...I'm not sure I've actually felt you. My imagination is probably sparked by movies and novels. I'm not sure I'm capable of being intimate. Have I made you something that I can't have? Have I put you so high up on a pedestal, that you're unreachable? I want to crawl up on your lap. I want to feel you squeeze me so tight I squeal.
Today's Shedding Skin Writing Practice gave me a lift: In the meantime I look up. Lifting my eyelids is like lifting heavy weights. To keep from looking down, I’m determined to direct my attention.
“Stop pushing against me.” She said. You’d think she’d say it louder with more force. Yet in her quiet, I felt strength and determination. A simple clear demand. She barely faced her palm up at me and gestured STOP. I got it. And just as silent, I took one small step backward. I landed on... Continue Reading →