Toto, Looks Like We’re Not In Kansas Anymore

I’ve been digging deep into my soul lately, writing about trusting my intuition. However, I notice a trend in my articles.

Thwack! Kick! Pow! Burn…

What about the subtle sensations like tingling on the back of my ear lobes?

Or the slight changes in my vision?

Or the tiny prickle along my scalp?

Hmm…

In this article, I’m writing about subtle Intuitive Prompts.  Hit is not the word here. Hang with me as I sniff out how I track my intuition.  

mountain pathJust a couple of days ago, a friend and I were hiking to Dead Falls Lake near Mt. Shasta, California.

We were looking at a map and my friend laughed saying he never trusts his intuition about directions.

“I go the opposite of where my intuition points. If my intuition says right I go left.”

I wondered…

“Does my intuition have a sense of direction?”

When I was pre-teen, I could walk from sun-up to sun-down deep in the woods. I lived outside the city limits of San Antonio, Texas. I never felt lost. I wandered aimlessly in tall grasses and scruffy oaks.  There were no streets or human trails, just animal paths to follow.  With no outer direction I always found my way back home. I was 16 years old when I quit trusting my sense of inner direction.

To this day I laugh at myself,

“Turn me 3 times and I’m completely lost!”  

Until a couple of days ago, I thought my hormones were the reason I lost my inner sense of direction.  

Barefoot, I ponder

“What happened to my inner sense of direction?”

I take another step forward. A twig breaks under my foot. Snap!

Something deep inside my stomach twists apart. I can almost hear it click open. I can almost taste it. The sensation of an aluminum can lid twists open deep inside me. That old familiar blood-iron taste coats my tongue. As I put my next bare foot down on the path leading us to Dead Falls, I remember when fear shattered my confidence.

The noise in my ears is a deafening heartbeat BOOM BOOM BOOM.

This time my Intuitive Hit does crack the wall I put up when I am afraid.  

What if my intuition is shouting at me?

I remember. I remember when I buried a part of myself in the dirt so no one could sniff me out. I remember from the same dirt, building a wall around me to shield out any predators.

I remember being raped at the age of 16. It was a date rape. I remember feeling so terrified for my life. I shut down and shut out everything. I couldn’t trust sounds or smell. That’s when I didn’t trust my sense of direction. I couldn’t trust anything or anyone. I didn’t trust me anymore.

I covered my tracks so I wouldn’t find my way back into my desecrated body.

All I can conjure up now is darkness. Shadows. Muffled sounds like a pillow is over my head. 

Before being raped I hitch-hiked alone in Texas, and nothing bad ever happened to me. Sure, I was careful. I grew up around alcoholic men whose laps were not safe to sit on. I knew when walking alone at night which dark alleys were not safe to enter. I really trusted my ‘6th’ sense. I trusted my ability to sniff out danger. 

It happens to the best of us. Life doesn’t always follow a straight line from point A to point B.

There really is a crack in the universe that doesn’t respect cause and affect. Twilight zone isn’t just a T.V. fiction episode. I think Twilight Zone really exists.

I didn’t feel safe to say no to the guy who asked me out. He was the top basketball player on our High School team. I felt something edgy about going out with him. He was black and I was a white foster child in a super small Texas town. When he asked me out, I felt seen. He chose me.  I was living in a temporary foster home. I was one of 8 foster kids living in a small house with a Mexican American family that had 3 children of their own. I was waiting for a more permanent foster home. I was waiting for a family to choose me to be their foster child.

I do remember in slow motion crawling into the back seat of the car. One of his friends chauffeured us to a bar on the sketchy end of town. I never got out of the car. The driver parked the car in the darkest edge of the lot. He turned off the car and I could hear loud music pouring out of the dark and dingy bar. My date, sitting next to me in the back seat pulled out a knife pointing it at my neck. He forced himself onto me. Then he forced himself into me. I barely struggled. I don’t remember making a sound. All I remember is fear flooding all my senses until I was completely numb. I felt like a stray dog stranded on a highway when he dropped me off on the curb at the house. I didn’t feel human.

Now, shaking and determined, I keep following my intuition. I want to see what else I’ve buried.

I dig my toes into the damp earth with each step. I stay grounded as I fall backward in time. 

I keep my nose, eyes and ears focused on the narrow winding path in front of me. Barefoot, I hop on a cold stone crossing a cold creek while my friend stays close behind me.

Cold penetrates the soles of my feet. My eyes water from light flooding in and my nose drips.

I hesitate before putting my right foot on the next slippery wet cold stone. The creek rushes under my feet.

I remember my therapist saying

“Carola, I want you to know what subtle is. I want you to feel my hand rest on top of your knee. If I’m not pinching or squeezing, can you feel me?”

Intuition can be a whisper. Intuition can be the most gentle nudge. Inner sense doesn’t have to be a ‘thwak!’ against the ear or a ‘bonk!’ on the head.

I’ve done the gross motor movements of bludgeoning the earth to uncover my buried body shame. Twenty-two years of furious ecstatic dancing unearthed me and 12 years of therapy pressed me back together. Now I’m learning the nimble skills of listening to the murmurs of calm, contained contentment.

My intuition gently whispers

“Seduce the subtle, enchant the awkward, and keep moving forward.”

sure-footed
sure-footed

 

 

 

Do you want to transmute fear into courage, dreams into reality, inertia into ecstatic movement? I’m here to help YOU live your truth out loud.

As a published author, I unabashedly speak my truth.
As a trained Transpersonal Therapist, I am your soul advocate and Heart Whisperer.
As a facilitator trainer, I help you move forward and stay focused.
As a mover and shaker of authenticity, I help you unleash your tongue and speak your truth from the inside out.

Donate securely using Paypal - no membership required

You can pay for your Intuitive Counseling through Pay Pal.

Advertisements

A Riddle Rolling Off My Tongue

A Riddle Rolling Off My Tongue

GUESS WHO CAN

Be there for you to listen to whatever you have to say?
Give you their undivided attention whenever you ask for it?
Witness you with no judgment?
Be able to let you completely fall apart and hold you together in one piece?
Knows you better than your best friend or lover?
Accepts you completely and trusts you completely?
Lets you spill your guts, cry your eyes out, and rip and tear illusions?

HINTS

She’s held together by a thin wire. She’s made of earth. She’s tough on the outside and yet fragile and delicate when exposed to the elements. Her insides absorb huge waves of emotions, absorb power punches and blows of hot air.

She’s known you since you started to talk.

And when you turn your back on her and abandon her for long stretches, she always greets you with open arms.
She’s your greatest teacher of self-compassion.

She a crystal clear mirror of the sacred and profane.

She’s so close. She’s practically at your finger tips.
She’s so close. She can almost read your mind, and anticipates what you’re about to say.
She’s so close.  She joins you traveling continents, flying up in the air, or carried on water.
She’s so close. She sits on your lap, snuggles up to your pillow, lays at your altar.

And no matter how much you feel you’re falling apart, she holds you together firmly by a thin wire.

JOURNAL WRITING

Who stays with you through your life unconditionally loving you?

It’s your writing journal. 

Writing practice has helped me calm the roar in my head. It’s helped me capture the monsters I’ve adopted and put them down on paper. Each written line wipes out fear. Each paragraph strangles doubt. Finally, the monsters become still and quiet. Then the compassionate voices in my head get stronger and clearer.  Courage and confidence erupt from my head and flow out through my hand and land onto the page.

Often what’s under our fear is brilliance waiting to be seen and heard

 512-925-0625

 

(971) 238-6282

Donate securely using Paypal - no membership required You can pay through pay pal.

shedding skin

About Shedding Skin Journal Writing Practice:

The snake rubs up against something sharp to begin the shedding process. The snake will die of suffocation if it doesn’t shed it’s complete skin-even the covering of it’s eyes. Shedding Skin writing practice includes witness. Your writing will scratch off dead skin and old beliefs that don’t serve you any longer. Sharing your writing with witness sheds your skin. Being heard-strips off layers and exposes your vulnerability. Even though it might feel like healthy skin coming off while reading your writing, it’s enlivening and necessary for growth of your soul.

Shedding Skin writing practices will help YOU-

  1. unleash your tongue,
  2. trust your inner guide-your intuition,
  3. quiet your inner voices and hear your heart whisper.

Move and WriteImagine if someone could hear you-like really hear what you’re saying-not just your word content-but hear your soul speak? And who could see you, not just look at you, but see into your soul that are perfect? At some point along my path-I realized I had to become what I desired. To be the therapist I desired. To be the friend I always wanted. The be the partner I wanted. I am the Writer’s Coach I always wanted. I am most content when my words mirror what I want to express.

When my words line up with what my soul wants to express, I vibrate. Literally I feel an inner hum inside me. Maybe it’s a human purr. I actually salivate and my mouth drools!
It is my soul purpose to connect-intimately inside and outside, verbally and non-verbally, align completely my mind,body, and spirit. No compromise. Shedding Skin Journal Writing Practice is writing from the inside-out. It’s following your heart and writing with your mind simultaneously. It’s listening to your Heart Whisper and hearing your Soul Roar.

snake shed head imgBeing seen and heard transforms pain into medicine, tragedy into comedy, and death into rebirth.
Shedding Skin writing practice is writing for transformation.

Carola Marashi is the author of SENSUAL EATING and for 25 years has been facilitating Ecstatic Dance and leading sensual workshops. She is a Transpersonal Therapist for 30 years and currently works with clients on relationship, intimacy, and self-compassion.

 

When asked what it is she does exactly, Carola says

“I offer YOU my undivided attention.

As a published author, I am your writing coach and editor. 

As a trained Transpersonal Therapist, I am your soul advocate and Heart Whisperer.

As a facilitator trainer, I help you move forward and stay focused.

As a mover and shaker of authenticity, I help you unleash your tongue and speak your truth from the inside out.

As a trained Transpersonal Therapist, I listen with soft ears.  My Soul purpose is to help others follow their heart, trust their intuition, discover and walk their path.

When I feel heard by someone, it’s like the best hug ever!”Spread the LOVE!

“I seduce the subtle, enchant the awkward, and listen to the heart whisper.”

Carola Marashi M.A., published author and Transpersonal Therapist has over 30 years of professional experience.

As a writing coach, Carola listens with soft ears and an open heart and mind. Her soul purpose is to help others follow their heart, trust their intuition, discover and walk their path. Sessions can be on the phone or skype. Carola lives near Portland Oregon with her beloved, 2 cats and a garden blossoming with love.

What some folks have said about Carola’s sessions:

“Carola’s intuition ability is excellent! Through her fine-tuned listening, she helped me unearth core areas in my personal life that had been unexamined; she supported me to become more empowered and clear.”

“She has a special ability to listen in a way that allows you to connect with your true self. She is a steady, insightful and a supportive guide. Through her skillful leadership I developed confidence in my ability to connect with myself more deeply.”

Donate securely using Paypal – no membership required.