Love Leaves Me Feeling Naked and Exposed.

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No more playing Invisible, Hide ‘N’ Seek, or Catch Me if You Can! 

It takes Courage to Love and right now, my heart is sore.  I’m hitting up against walls, heart walls.

Dancing Save Our Springs Christmas Party

I crave intimacy.

My defenses crumble. My heart cracks open.

Joy and pleasure demand more room in my heart.

Love expands me. I take up more space.

I make more sound. I cry more.

It takes Courage to Love.

I am falling in love with me who is falling in love.

What sounds do I make when my Heart is Open?

I sigh.

I breathe in contentment.

My voice is soft.

My jaw relaxes. I salivate. My lips are soft and wet. I round out vowels and consonants.

I speak slow and  melodic.

Listening to my Heart is ALOT slower than listening to my mind. A Shaman in San Antonio, Texas said to me:

Close your eyes.  

Your eyes go straight to your head and play tricks on you.

Open your ears.

Your ears go straight to your Heart.

Listen to your Heart,

not your Mind.

Heart Rays Original Art by Carola Marashi M.A. Intuitive Guide

It takes patience to listen to my heart when it hurts! It’s like learning a new language.

I listen to my intuition:

Your heart contracts in pain. Your heart is tightly bound up with thick layers of scar tissue. Sensations come through delayed and distorted.

Pause. Reflect. No need to react.

Breathe deep into your belly. Your heart softens and expands now that you’re cracking open. Yes. Your wall is cracking.

Now speak with your heart open.

(Usually it’s just one syllable.)

Ouch.

Geez! Just one word-

“OUCH!”

That’s all I need to say when I’m hurting and don’t know what else to say?

When I hear someone else say “Ouch!” Literally I’m all ears. Willing and compassionate.

As a ‘tough kid’ I made some strong promises to protect myself.

What I thought was holding my heart up has been holding me down. 

Instead of free of pain, I’ve been caged.

gargoyleMy defenses have strict rules:

“Do not desire anything that you can’t control.”  Especially home, family, security.

“You can take my Body, but you can’t take my Soul.” It’s easy to check out and dis-engage from any scene if I don’t like what’s going on. Besides, No one is really counting on me.

“Be vague and aloof and then No One gets hurt.”  Namely- Me.

I built this wall around me. Brick by brick so that by the time I was 9 years old, you couldn’t hurt me.  My wall proved to work. I survived physical abuse, neglect, and starvation.  My older brothers didn’t seem to fare as well. At 9 years old I believed “They must have been too soft.” 

My Motto: “I’m tough. I’m too smart for that. You can’t touch me on the inside.”

I trained my ears and eyes to protect me from getting hurt. Growing up hitch hiking, hanging out in bars, and living on the streets, I developed a sharp intuition.  To this day voice inflection, posture, even the smell of pain and anger make me duck and hide.  My skill for perceiving distress is Hyper Developed. I can smell Anger, Sadness, Anxiety, Grief a mile away. Gestures like furrowed eye brows, tense jaws, clenched fists, slumped shoulders, rubbing forehead, wringing hands, leaning backward or shallow breathing are neon signs blinking ‘beware’.

The Sounds of Pain and Distress are Loudest.

The slightest change in a person’s voice speaks volumes! Pitch, tone, rhythm of speech floods my auditory field. Sometimes I can barely hear the words. The sound of emotion drowns out the content.

I am quick to interpret your non-verbal gestures.  And I Dash- Dart- Duck- Dive or Dodge- without you even noticing. You know, emotionally disappear while acting like I’m engaged. I am sad to admit that with 12 years of therapy and a Master’s Degree in Psychology, I believed my emotions were invisible.  My Totem Animal is Opossum!  I really thought I could play dead. Until a housemate said to me:

“Carola, when you think you’re invisible, you suck the oxygen out of the room!”

Turning attention toward pleasure and joy is real Mastery. I spent a weekend in a ‘Rivers of Joy’ Family Constellation workshop with Stephen Victor.  I discovered that I’m lonely behind my wall. Aloof and arrogant may keep me from having a broken heart, yet it is exhausting to maintain.

My innocence desires authentic connection.

My integrity requires me to be congruent with my word. 

A few years ago I taught obese children and their families healthy eating at the YMCA. By simply showing up, the parents demonstrated that they loved their children. I had to follow their love muscle. I couldn’t follow what my mind ‘saw’ which was – parents feeding their kids junk food. Following my heart, listening to my heart, I let love lead. I was able to engage them and build trust and build relationship. I had to demonstrate compassion. They followed. I had to show them my heart-that led them to their heart. My heart was naked and exposed.

Vulnerability clears a room full of arrogance. 

Rivers of JoyIt takes Courage to Love.

Courage to Love requires a soft heart. 

Courage to Love requires I drop defenses. 

Courage to Love means I feel alive! Joy! Pleasure! and Pain.

A soft, plump heart pumping courage to love might feel naked and exposed, yet it glistens with resilience. 

An Open Heart Melts Fear into a River of Joy.

 

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Do you feel your Heart aching to Expand?
Are you Falling in Love with YOU who’s falling in Love?
Can you say YES to Courage to Love?
 
My sessions are intended to help you listen to your heart’s desire.
971-238-6282 
(Customary love offering $1 per minute.)

Strengthening Your Intuition helps you listen and respond to your own Inner Guidance.

It takes Courage to Love. Your answers are inside you. 

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Carola says Howdy

Learning how to listen and respond to your intuition can save your life or the life of someone else. Read more here about trusting your intuition.

Thanks for reading my blog!

Shedding Skin,

Carola

If you find yourself hesitating, doubting yourself, or questioning your inner voice, I am here to serve you. I listen with soft ears and open heart. 

It takes Courage to Love. Your answers are inside you.

971-238-6282  (Customary love offering $1 per minute.)

Loving the Pacific NW Tilt,

Carola Marashi M.A. Published Author, Therapist, Writing Coach 30 years of professional experience. Carola Marashi M.A. Intuition CounselorCarola Marashi has a Master’s Degree in Transpersonal Psychology and is a published author of 2 books: Sensual Eating; and Sacred Dance ( includes a 22 Card divination deck of her original artwork).

Carola listens with soft ears and an open heart and mind. Her soul purpose is to help others follow their heart, trust their intuition, discover and walk their path. Sessions can be on the phone or skype.  Carola lives near Portland Oregon with her beloved, cat and a garden blossoming with love.

What some folks have said about Carola’s sessions:

“Carola’s intuition ability is excellent! Through her fine-tuned listening, she helped me unearth core areas in my personal life that had been unexamined; she supported me to become more empowered and clear.”

“She has a special ability to listen in a way that allows you to connect with your true self. She is a steady, insightful and a supportive guide. Through her skillful leadership I developed confidence in my ability to connect with myself more deeply.”

Donate securely using Paypal – no membership required.

971-238-6282 

Donate securely using Paypal - no membership required You can pay through pay pal.

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I’m fascinated with the tongue. I know we’re supposed to keep it private, yet my tongue is too curious to be contained.

What does your tongue reveal about YOU?

We could start with the obvious:  color, texture, shape…

Check out this link to see what your tongue says about your health. ‘Cause if you read further, we’re going behind the veil of your lips, opening wide to discover Your awe!

But, really?  What does sticking out your tongue reveal about YOU-Your heart’s desires, dreams, fears, aspirations?…now that’s interesting!

Are you ready to reveal your deepest, darkest, private self?

Right now GO look in the mirror-

Open Wide, Say AWE! and see yourself from the inside out.

Is your mouth inside shiny and wet?

OOH! AWEsome! You live in your body. You follow your intuition and let your sensations direct you. You feed your appetite. You listen to your desires and dreams.  You let your creativity inspire you. Your mantra is “Self care is sexy.”

If it’s not, then go right now and drink some water. What your tongue reveals is that you easily turn off simple body sensations like thirst, appetite, and fatigue. It reveals that setting a timer to remind you to stretch and take a break might be a good idea! You can borrow the mantra “I’m taking a moment to breathe and sigh.”

Is your mouth kinda pink and your saliva kinda sticky?

Hmmm. You could be like me, a person who runs on fear, anxiety, caffeine for energy. Oopsey! It’s never too late to learn that calm is a creative mind, that subtle contains mystery, and ease is effortless.

Did opening your mouth and sticking out your tongue in the mirror make you laugh at yourself?

 Wonderful! Laughter is the best medicine! and laughing at yourself reveals you’ve gone into the dark-made friends with your monsters-and you’re trustworthy!

If you didn’t laugh, that’s okay. Right now, take a selfie of you sticking your tongue out saying “Ahhhh…” and I double dare you to post it!imag1043.jpg

Did it take a couple of times before you could really see yourself in the mirror?  

Yeah, me too. I’ve got to tell my critical mind “Stand down!” Then my soft eyes, innocent eyes come forward and take control. What does that reveal about you? You’re deep, curious, and damn tenacious. You stick with your intentions. You’re reliable and practice integrity.

You know, it takes courage to stick out your tongue and say AWE to yourself and take it seriously. Seriously!

Simply doing this means you’re Bold. Bodacious! and what? Sexually attractive? Yes.

Cause what’s sexy is showing up for yourself. Sexy is being brave enough to look inside. Sexy is doing it even when you’re afraid. Sexy is hanging with the awkward.

Your tongue is a truth tester.

When I stuck out my tongue at the Acupuncture clinic, my doc summoned all his students to look at my tongue. I was mortified!

Sure, I love to stick out my tongue, except…when I have an analytical audience! “Oh I see…So that’s what it looks like…Oh! I’ve never seen this before…” And the silent responses “mmm…holding breath in…pursing lips…” Those silent comments hurt too.

So sticking out my tongue at the acupuncturist revealed I want to know what’s really going on. I found out I run on adrenaline. Duh. That I’ve got to take care of my adrenals. Choose calm tea instead of coffee, at least after 1 pm. I had to tell myself “Okay. I’m mature enough to take care of myself. I really do want to learn about subtle, discreet, and who I am when I’m not afraid.” I’ve developed patience, in my old age. And to remind folks it’s okay to tell me “Quit interrupting me!” I’m a hot headed Italian. I’m not rude, I’m excited!

My Mayan Astrologer friend says I’m a Snake. As a snake, I use my tongue to test the scene. I stick out my tongue-like a Tourette Syndrome motor tic.

So there you go! You got my attention! Hopefully I got yours. If you’re itching to fall more deeply, madly in love with yourself,

cause you figured out

“YOU’RE the most important project on the planet.” I’m here for you!

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Do you want to transmute fear into courage, dreams into reality, inertia into ecstatic dance? I’m here to help YOU live your truth out loud.

I offer YOU my undivided attention.
As a published author, I unabashedly speak my truth.
As a trained Transpersonal Therapist, I am your soul advocate and Heart Whisperer.
As a facilitator trainer, I help you move forward and stay focused.
As a mover and shaker of authenticity, I help you unleash your tongue and speak your truth from the inside out.

Donate securely using Paypal - no membership required

You can pay for your Intuitive Counseling through Pay Pal.

 

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