ReUniting with Orphaned Family

carola bday pict
Of course I had NO idea what I was asking for when I started
“Help Carola ReUnite with Orphaned Family” 
GoFundMe campaign. Connecting with one of my nieces prompted me to reunite with my orphaned family. Courage flooded the frontal lobe of my brain and washed away any reservations. Then OUCH! My heart squeezed, twisted and contorted resisting more emotional input. Family drama is what I see in movies, not what I personally experience. That’s one of the benefits of being orphaned-Right? Naively, I forgot that when I wanted to reunite my family.You’ve heard that truth is what sets you free. Truth can also feel like dying.

The short story:
The darkest family secrets of betrayal, sexual abuse, and child prostitution were some of the ghosts set free.

What happened:
I woke up in the middle of the night screaming
“You mother fucker!”
I was pounding the bed with my fists,
screaming at my dad.
I realized it wasn’t a nightmare.

What I discovered:
Resistance.
Denial.
More resistance.

What got exposed:
More abuse, incest, and sex trafficking.
My evil step mother really did have an identical evil twin.
More deception, misogyny, and suicide.

Where I am now:
I cut my hair. I’m not hiding anymore or confusing my sexuality with my long hair.
Shaking, sweating, and praying for wisdom to lead me.
Humble and swollen with compassion for others who excavate family secrets.
Breathing and taking a break from ‘family drama’.
Surrounding myself with family love and high functioning family interactions.

What I look forward to:
More writing practice to integrate this journey.
Sharing this process to support others who excavate family secrets.
Standing tall. Showing up more authentic and transparent.

Sometimes I hesitated moving forward and hid from shame and fear.
Y’ALL believing in me — fueled my courage and kept the light on for me.
I couldn’t have kept going and crossed the finish line without YOU.
I may not have ‘family’ at my back. I DO have Y’ALL—my extended—Chosen Family at my back.

With a humble quaking heart,
Carola Lah

Published by Carola Marashi M.A.

Right now is an exciting time to be alive. We live in a state of paradox. We have an abundance of technology at our fingertips. Despite our ability to connect to a world of people, places and information, humanity is plagued with depression, PTSD, and addiction. As western medicine fails to restore human resilience and wholeness, psychedelic medicine has proven to be extremely effective in treating human suffering. We are in a time of global upheaval and face challenges that range from climate change to political anarchy. Integration is how we find our center in the midst of chaos. As adults we know change is our only constant. Integration therapy is the process of honoring our innocence, standing in our integrity, discovering choices, and knowing that simply being present is our greatest gift to humanity. We become stronger from conflict when we face our fears, wrestle our monsters, and accept our humanness. “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” It’s possible that fragmenting ourselves by race, socioeconomic group, religious identity, and sexual orientation causes distress. Unifying our mind, body, and spark of life brings us grace and ease. Many people think of psychedelics as relics from the hippie generation or something taken by ravers and music festival-goers, but they may one day be used to treat disorders ranging from social anxiety to depression, according to research presented at the annual convention of the American Psychological Association. “Combined with psychotherapy, some psychedelic drugs like MDMA, psilocybin and ayahuasca may improve symptoms of anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder,” said Cristina L. Magalhaes, PhD, of Alliant International University Los Angeles, and co-chair of a symposium on psychedelics and psychotherapy. “More research and discussion are needed to understand the possible benefits of these drugs, and psychologists can help navigate the clinical, ethical and cultural issues related to their use.” Transpersonal Psychology bridges the gap between science and spirituality, and honors that we are spirits seeking our unique human experience. I help you melt fear and resistance for rapid evolution. Living inside a chaotic childhood I was blessed to encounter psychedelics in my early teens. The psychedelic experiences were in the context of self discovery. In the absence of belonging to family, home and consistency, I found an abundance of Synchronicity and Spirituality with the assistance of psychedelics.

Uncategorized

, , , ,

Leave a Reply

Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: