How Do I Trust My Intuition Right Now?

I’m sitting here in a quandary.

Quandary by Carola Marashi M.A. Intuitive CounselorAs an Intuition Counselor, you’d think I could do a muscle test or  be quiet and listen.  It’s not always that easy.  Right, even for me.  Sometimes I can’t feel.  Sometimes I can’t listen.  Fear drowns out listening to my ‘higher’ self.  Confusion floods my senses.  Now what?

My journal becomes my best friend. Writing slows me down. Especially handwriting with a scratchy pen, not gel, so I slow down and the sound of scratching on paper actually soothes me. Like listening to a shovel dig in dirt or the sound of raking soothes me.

Journaling Intuition by Carola Marashi Intuition CounselorWriting sends me into my body.  My last therapist (also a writer) learned  that writing helps the left and right brain connect. Deeper listening and wider perspective lead me to trusting my intuition.  Short bike rides in my neighborhood or talking to a friend help me get into my body.  Still, my journal is my best friend- always available and willing to listen with NO interruptions or advice.

So back to my quandary (I dig this word!).

A friend is requesting my participation in something that feels incongruent.  I’m not understanding what I hear, what I feel, and what I see.  Ugh! My insides and outsides don’t match! Confusion overtakes me.

Back to my journal. I write.

What do I feel?  My stomach cramps.  My head feels light.  My breath is short.  

What do I want?  To feel grounded in my body.

COMMUNICATE!  Flashes on my mental screen.

I write it down in All Capitol letters. I continue to write in my journal:

But I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I loathe disappointing anyone. I love saying YES!  Saying no is scary. No-one likes to hear no.  Yet, if I deny my intuition, I’m saying no to me. Ooh can I really take that risk of her not liking me,  and accept I have my limits?  What if I lose her as a friend?  I’m not being my friend  OR her friend if I ignore what I feel. NOW that I know what I feel.

Journaling is like massaging a knotted chain necklace. Just slowly roll the knotted chain in between my fingers and the knot softens.  The gentle unravel lets it stay one piece.  Frustration and impatience only tightens the knot again.  Rolling the chain between my fingers is almost hypnotic and soothing.  Staying with it-releases the knot.

The deep conversation with myself writing on paper- helps me stay engaged with Me.  Like rolling the knotted chain.  Having all the space  to really be honest with Myself on paper with minimal self-judgment helps me unravel my true feelings.  It helps me listen to my intuition.

Intuition.

My insides and outsides are matching.  Cool! Now I can communicate.

Intuition.  Being honest with me so I can show up in my world.

Intuition.  Me giving Me permission.

Intuition. Knowing I have choices.  I choose love.

I communicate with my friend.  Message her.  I say what I feel. I say what I want.  I am open to how the scenario unravels.  I’m staying engaged.  I am following my intution.

I can trust now.

Thanks for listening.

Peace,

Carola

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About Me-Carola Marashi M.A.
I live simply in Southern Oregon on my friends amazing sanctuary. Surrounding me are gardens, animals, wild nature, and a wild dance community with open hearts.
My lifestyle weaves ritual, presence, authenticity, integrity, art and movement.I am an author of 2 self-published books: SENSUAL EATING, and SACRED DANCE with 22 Card Tarot Deck. I hold a Masters degree in Transpersonal Psychology and Bachelor’s degree in Nutrition. I am Co-Founder of Body Choir Ecstatic Dance in Austin, Sante Fe, Ashland, Medford.

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